puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
