no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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