some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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