No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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