i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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