We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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