I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
