I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
