Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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