If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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