this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
