Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Fuck appropriateness.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize