it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
