I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
