Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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