another moral hangover. fuck.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
