I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
