i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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