this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Farmville is her only friend.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
