First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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