My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm like, not good at living.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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