I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
