Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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