Small penises have feelings too.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
