She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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