Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
