he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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