found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
