Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
