thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
