so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I have post one night stand depression
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
