well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
