So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize