WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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