Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
They took my balls.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
