I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
