He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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