you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
