who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
