His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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