As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
