I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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