dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
