do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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