Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
