I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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