i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
