Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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