Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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