last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
