Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
