My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
