if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
