What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize