if i died would you start the facebook group?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
