I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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