I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
