i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
