hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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