I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
