yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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