After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
