Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
