The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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