We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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